Sunday, February 17, 2013

Had enough…

Had enough,
Enough of the false sun and its imitation warmth,
Enough of the frigid breezes reaching to the bone,
Enough of the failing energy and aches and pains,
Enough of the nightmare nights and empty days,
Enough of clinging to small victories trying to evade the collapse,
Enough of building the fa├žade in the morning to let it crumble each night,
Enough of sugar coated smiles and “hi how are you”s,
Enough of the ever expanding list of things never to be done,
Enough of falling further and further from the light,
Enough of knowing better yet indulging in the status quo,
Enough of filling the trash can with empties and butts and pizza boxes,
Had enough…

Depression is a terrible monster to have to fight, sapping your physical and mental strength while weighing heavily on your emotions. Some of us do so well at covering the damage, sealing the demon inside, showing no one. Expending what energy we have to make others believe we are what we are not. Struggling mightily to accomplish the world’s expectations while leaving less and less to help slay the dragon inside. Simple things become your Everest, your rock to push up the hill only to find another much larger and steeper on the other side. There is no place to rest, no turn to make, truly caught between the rock and a hard place.