Maybe Tomorrow

Last night’s snowfall disappeared slowly, struck by the shallow sunshine falling from between the gray cloudy masses sailing slowly above

Swirling cold seeps in the open window bringing a frigid freshness unlike the spring sunshine from yesterday

The stripes mounted on the front porch billow flutter n fly constantly, eventually wrapping the pole only to be unwound and forced to repeat their spinning dance

The cold and the darkening gray and the constant flapping mix with a decades old playlist murmuring in the background, masking its intent

The muted daylight begins to die forcing the sky to shades of blurred gray n muted blackish blues signaling the end of the day which seemingly never really started

Wandering the inside shadows without direction finally reaching the comfort of flannel and quilting and burrowing deep beneath them

Maybe tomorrow will fulfill the hope of a warm bright start followed by hours of accomplishments and successes, maybe tomorrow…

My Dream

Are you sleeping naked this night? 
Do you feel me thinking of you? Caressing you? Holding you? Can you hear my whispers?
Sweet beautiful lady you are my dream tonight and every night… 
soft, smooth, warm, caring, loving, sweet aroma, salty flavor, writhing, moaning, growling, pushing, rhythmic dancing, groaning, squealing, tight, wet, hot, sweating, slick, slipping, sliding, slamming, slapping, smacking, exploding, erupting, licking, grabbing, sucking, laughing, wrapping, holding, entwining … 
my dream is always you - blue, creamy, pink, ivory, shadowed, golden, blurred, dark … 
my dream is you sweet lady, is you…

It's late...

It’s late on a Friday night, had a few shots of Jack – more than I should have, but enough to let the words flow more freely. Not sure what I want to say, where the words should lead… Ramble on… feelin old – not ready to die “old”, maybe just tired – but a tired that sleep can’t fix. Wanna close my eyes for a night er a day er longer, wanna have my body wake with no aches, no pains… wanna have my mind be clear, no questions, no maybes, no what ifs… wanna have my heart in tune with the now, not the yesterdays of months and years gone by – pains n questions n lost loves – yet they are what made me what I am, I am nothing without them. Yet who am I? Where am I going?

Endure the Agony

Endure the agony of hours spent alone, no one to touch, and no one to embrace 

Suffer through the fear, never to know love again, to be empty inside – forever 

Bear your weaknesses, I can’t tell her, I shouldn’t say anything, I’m not good enough 

Continue the hopelessness, I’m not wanted, no one cares 

Dwell on the should have, the could have, the missed opportunities 

Descend deeper into the abyss, darker, deeper, and lonelier  

Perpetually self fulfilling  

Stop, end it 

Step out into the light 

Take control, break the cycle 

Tomorrow, No today – now! 

How… I’ve forgotten how…. Help me? 

Who is that shadow at the door? Standing there? 

Is it?  No, it is only loneliness, and loneliness waits 

Reaching out its hand, beckoning from the darkness